a certain fairy

For once since going on this adventure, I was actually starting to feel good about myself. 

Like how I literally just outsmarted two adolescents younger than I am--break out of a poorly constructed jail area--and sneak past distracted partying orphans and a Felix, who I may or may not have made faces at as I passed while his back was turned, sitting upon a dead log.

And by faces, I mean something like this. 

Once I made it out of the camp area and the music began to die down, I found myself home free. There was absolute no trouble at all, from anyone, and I couldn't believe it.

At first, one could only wonder if this was just another trap since the escape was bafflingly too easy; but after walking uninterrupted for roughly fifteen minutes, back into the widespread jungle-like forest, I knew for sure I was in the clear.

I had outsmarted Pan.

As I said, I wandered far into the forest, hoping to find myself at the edge of it and at least work from there. Quite unfortunately, as I had feared, when Pan turned on my walkie-talkie, he left  it on, and it had drained the battery until it died completely.

So I couldn't communicate with the boys even if they were  still there.

Which is a real scrap moment. 

Fortunately, though, everything else was fine. All of the bullets were still in my guns' mags and my iPod, Kai, had automatically shut back off when Pan checked him out.

So I could at least listen to music while shooting bad people, as I wandered hopelessly in a forest, searching for villainous companions who may or may not have abandoned me, 

what a time to be alive.

For a while longer, I just kept walking.

The endless amount of trees and weird insects constantly being at every part of the scenery was getting old fast, and it was no wonder now why the inhabitants of this island had gone crazy. 

Speaking of crazy, my mind had been keeping itself well busy as it went over Pan's story again and again and again. He never mentioned his shadow, or how he cane to meet Hook, and not once did he mention Tinker Bell's name or even what happened to her.

I couldn't help but wonder why he told me everything but those three primary things.

His story really seemed to focus on him...him, specifically.

And how he felt about the matter. What he went through.

It was almost as if he wanted me to feel sympathy for him, without coming right out and saying it.
I now questioned just how loyal he really was to this cause.

Was he secretly deterred by what I told him about 'the others' and how they treat their employees?
Was he, perhaps, attempting to reach out to me? 

I was hoping that, if he did meet the boys, that something would spark in him.

Making him question why four of the biggest bads out there would choose to travel with me while all the other baddies banded together to rise up and change their history.

 It was a puzzling thing why they went off and chose to fight alongside me,  when they could have easily played for their own team. 

And on top of it all, why was this Pan's story different from the other  evil Pan?

Everything was supposed to be canon in their worlds, so why weren't they?

What if it was a glitch? What if someone changed something? 

What if everything I knew was a lie? 

Agh, it was all so confusing and it made my head hurt.

I didn't wanna think anymore, but unfortunately, that's all that brains truly do, is think.

(Sometimes duds wind up caged inside certain people's skulls, poor things.)

After maybe a half an hour since my escape had passed, I finally had a small stroke of luck.

I had entered an open area, the ground a tan dusty dirt, and there were no trees to speak of for a good length, the size of a house, and it was a tad bit refreshing.

This honestly would be an ideal width for a baseball game, to give you a better picture--
though I'm not one to know about that since I've never BEEN to a baseball game.

My eyes scanned the area and landed on a house.

A treehouse. 

My jaw dropped. 

By Joe....could I have actually found...

ANNDDDD BAM!

At once, I started to scream and instantly collapsed to my knees, my entire face pained and my entire body pulsing with alert, as my hands immediately clawed at my head's sides.

The pain was back.

I was screeching so loud that if anyone was, in fact, tailing me, I would have surely given my position right away. But I didn't care. It was clear now that Tauriel's elixir only suppressed the pain, for only a while.
I was not cured.

What. The. Heck.

I hate crying. I really, really, really hate crying.
But I inevitable began to have tears swell in and escape from my eyes, to roll down my burning hot face.
It hurt so, so very bad.
I was in so much pain, that I began to throw out shocked whimpers in between my shouts and cries, my eyes repeatedly widening from just how much it hurt.
WHAT?
What is causing this?! Why am I having those dreams?!
Why am I infected so badly?! Why did traveling change me the second I first stepped out of those T.A.R.D.I.S. doors? Is something wrong with me? Am  I gonna die?

Dear GOD, it hurt. I'm no expert, but it felt like trying to give birth with my head.
Massive pains--excruciating, unbelievable pain--swelled up and spread out through my head, and like an army of evil things that are evil, it carried itself across my entire body, making me wanna get sick.

It was as if someone had taken a match and lit my whole brain on fire, and the flames were spreading down the rest of me. It seemed to last forever, but in truth, it only spanned for under a minute..if even that.
I might as well shoulda jumped off a cliff and let the crocs have me.
I'm not even kidding.
That's how much it hurt.
I mean, hurt doesn't even begin to cover it.
I've been through a lot of unpleasant ordeals in my life, with nature and my own body turning against me.
But this was literally the worst I had ever felt. It felt like a demon was trying to take control of me or something, and I was trying with everything I got to fight 'im off.
I freaking just wanted to let it overcome me to get it to stop.
Why do we not  have self-destruct buttons??

I was so busy dying of hysteria that I didn't notice someone screaming at me, running to me, and wrapped their arm around my shoulders, trying to stand me up.
"Are you okay?!" I made out. Before-
"Hey! HEY!!  What's wrong??"
Until- "Come with me!!"

Everything now in slow motion, I was pulled to my feet, swung to the left, and dragged along toward the treehouse, that was thankfully only a short distance away.

---

There were three really strange regrets I was feeling atm..

1) Not able to blow bubblegum or snap my fingers correctly until I was 12 years old.
2) Not telling you guys that I technically don't have a driver's license and don't technically know how to drive right and also have never technically had a real job yet. oops.
3) That the boys would legitimately go on with their lives, not knowing how much they actually were important to me or how much I really cared, but just couldn't seem to show it. And I felt really sad.
I hadn't even given any of them a proper hug, so much shame, my word.

The person that was helping really was going out of their way for me.
They assisted me up their treehouse and guided me to the middle of the inside, where they let me collapse on the floor, wallowing in my own pain, and started to scramble about, grabbing this and that in a panic.
I, meanwhile, had been grinding my teeth to sawdust as I dug the top of my head into the exposed wooden floorboards, arching my collapsed body as I tightly held my forehead, squeezing my throbbing eyes shut.

Like a dummy, I didn't take Tauriel's elixir outside with me--not that I really had a chance to pack for the occasion--so I was REALLY hating life.
I'm not one to take any kind of medicine, but this was too much for even ME to bear.
"What's wrong, what's wrong, is it your head?! PLEASE, tell me!!"
"IT'S MY HEAD, IT'S MY HEAD!!" I screamed, in a very loud, high-pitched tone.
That was all they needed. They scrambled about some more and I heard liquids slushing, so I could only guess they were mixing something, maybe.
Soon enough, I heard the same footsteps bolt back to me and my helper bent down on one knee, offering me a small...coconut shell?
I thrashed my head, "What is that?!"
"Just drink it, please!!"
uuuggghhhhhh

I had no choice. I snatched it, slightly causing some of the concoction to spill on the floor, which seeped through the board cracks, and I chugged the pink mixture down, once again squeezing my eyes shut.
It tasted not bitter...not bland...but sweet! Actually sweet!
Like kiwi and cheery. O.O

I drank all that was in the shell and looked straight again, taking my head, that was mega sore, and giving it a quick crack, gasping a breath. As I did this, I extended my arm that held the shell towards my helper, but upon opening my eyes, I now saw who it was.
"Tinker Bell?!"

With a warm smile and a gentle nod, she took the shell.
"..yess.." Her voice was rather uncertain, but at the same time, not all that surprised.
She set the shell next to her, looking back at me with hazel eyes, and took a deep, exhausted breath, as if she  were the tired one.
I swallowed cautiously, uncertain just which side she'd truly be on..
considering I was already a little off on Pan's story.

Tink was a rather pretty fairy. She had darkish blonde hair, wrapped up into a beehive like bun; dark, worn greenish clothing and a little dark scarf tied around her neck.
I say fairy, cuz traditionally, she's a fairy.
But at the present moment, Tink lacked wings. Pan did mention that she was banished by her own kind, which only meant that her story in the Once Upon a Time  universe was still a thing.
And this was the same treehouse she had been residing in from before.

Tinker Bell

"Who are you??" She spoke casually in a normal sounding Australian/New Zealand accent.
I say normal sounding, cuz she sounds like any gal you'd come across in Australia or New Zealand.
"....are you..better??"

My mind tried adjusting to everything, before I could answer her more clearly.
"Um.....I'm........I'mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"

Passed out. I passed out.
I actually flipping passed out.
Why. Just why.

- - - -

It wasn't long before I awoke again, this time on the opposite side of where I was sitting, laid out comfortably upon a soft material, positioned on my side.
My headache had completely subsided.

My eyes moved to the one infront of me, who I immediately recognized as Tink.
She was sitting, legs bent behind her, busily cooking something up in a small little pot, a wee fire simmering below it from a nifty little system she had going.
After a few minutes of me watching, her eyes moved to me.
"Hello, again."
I looked up at her.
"Sorry about that. I forgot to mention the slight  side effect of taking my medicine. You quickly fall asleep."
Mmmmmm, could have warned me a bit earlier, chicka, cuz I felt like a wuss.

She finished adding ingredients into the pot and placed the top over it, wiping her hands, afterwards quickly shifting herself back with a satisfied sigh.
She turned her attention to me with an innocent smile,
"I hope you don't mind me saying..but you're adorable when you're asleep! Like a kitten!"
How dare.
I don't even like  cats!!

I sat up rather sluggishly, all the while offended, bringing my legs up close to me from being so tired.
She continued, "How old are you?"
My eyes shifted, "..nineteen...??"
Her expression now was a bit smug.
"Too old to be a lost 'girl'..not  too old to be a pirate, though."
"Trust me, I ain't no pirate. I haven't even met  Hook yet, actually."
Relief washed over her and she seemed to settle a little more fully.
Ack, where were my manners??
I extended a tired arm, tilting my head for an added 'I'm innocent, don't be hostile' effect,
"Sarah Demens, nice to meet chya."
She grinned childishly at this and took my hand, shaking it accordingly.
"Tinker Bell. Pleasure."
Random note, her scent was similar to berries.
Not that I'm a real expert on berries or anything, but it was a little weird being around someone who smelled like a fruit. But hey, I didn't complain, I'm not the berry police.

After this, a tad bit of silence followed as I sat up, now facing her, trying to recover fully.
She fixed up this and that around her, in the meantime.
"So, that pain in your head.."
I had a lump in my throat from the mention of it.
"...I take it it's not..normal?"
I immediately shook my head, hopelessly.
"Nope. It only started when I...began to travel. I don't know why it does it. It just comes at random times and hurts like all heck."
"Do you know if there's a cure??"
"I thought I found it...it worked for awhile, but..no such luck."
Her head sunk, sadly. "Oh...I'm sorry.."
"It's not your fault. I'll figure out things eventually, as soon as I know what's causing it."

Suddenly, the conversation took a very quick turn.
"You were kidnapped by Pan, weren't you?"
I leaned myself against the wall of the treehouse, preparing to answer as honestly as I could.
"Slightly...I escaped. Speaking of Pan..he told me his story."
Her facial expression was not changed at all by this,
"Did he now??"
I did a quick nod,  "He told me just about everything. Minus a few details..what happened to you..where his shadow is..and how he met Hook."
This brought a cloud of depression upon her and she sat back herself, sighing deeply.
"What do you want to know??"
I glanced at the ceiling and went over it all in my head for a minute.
"Telling me about Hook isn't necessary..but..I'd like to know about the shadow...and why you aren't with you-know-who."
She looked  reluctant. But her quickness to answer was another story.

"Pan uses the shadow as a weapon. But only when he really needs it. It stays on Skull Island and comes every time it's summoned. It's been living here before I even got here...when Pan came, and he..changed..he decided to put it to good use."
She began to wring her hands.
"As for Pan..well..it's a complicated story."
"I can deal."
Her eyes moved to the floor, hesitantly.
"..I suppose he already told you how we met? How I got banished??"
I nodded.
Her brows flexed in a 'figures' sorta way.
"I brought him here, to take care of him..gave him a home. We told eachother our stories, about our whole lives, and we gradually bonded. Became thick as thieves, him and I. We played together...explored the island..had our adventures..it brought him so much happiness that he really needed..until the day he went back home. Brought back Felix...eventually, everything changed."

It looked as though she were about to cry, but she surprisingly kept herself together rather well.
"..he used to be such a good boy.." She said in a whisper.
"..Well..from what he told me, he hasn't been a very good boy in a long  time."
Cue a lopsided frown and an even sadder expression.
"...I won't bother with details. But eventually, I told him how I felt. I protested at what he had been doing. I didn't like what he had become. I was trying to help him at first, but it became too unbearable. I threatened to leave. That made him angry. Hurt. So..he made me his prisoner."
My brows lifted in realization.
"Ah.. so that was your  jail cell, was it?"
She nodded, looking away painfully.
"He tried to make it as comfortable as possible for me. Least he acted like a gentleman about it....after all, he doesn't hate me. In fact, he was actually quite broken by my wanting to leave. He felt betrayed, like I turned against him. But he didn't want to lose me."

My head tilted in curiosity.
"Question..why can't he fly?"
She smirked a little, "That would be because of me..it's because of the pixie dust that people can fly. Happy thoughts keep them afloat. However, you need to keep a fairy with  the dust to keep you in supply, otherwise it will run out and you can't fly anymore. So, that's one of the reasons he kept me in a cell. To get the dust from me."
"Til you escaped."
She nodded. "One of the boys left the door unlocked by accident and I got away. After all, he picks up boys who are...not the cleverest ones out there. Pan tried to find me, but I used my dust to lose them all. Thankfully, despite having no wings, I can still use it to get around. It's just unfortunately harder to get on this island..I lost the boys. Then I came here."
"Right. Here..."
I found myself now looking around at the room, genuinely impressed by the craftsmanship.

"It's a pretty nice place. I've never been in a treehouse before."
A soft smile came over her face.
"It is nice..Peter and Felix built it. It was their playhouse. When things changed, they left it and forgot about it, so it was the perfect hiding place for me..makes me feel close to what he used to be.."
This made me smile rather sadly.
"...You two were pretty close, huh?"
She merely shook her head yes.
"..mm..yeah...in another life....you had quite the fancy for him, ya know.."
Her face slightly changed in coloration from a soft tan to a soft red.
"R-really???"
I smirked, "Oh, yeah. You were mighty infatuated with him...and a pretty jealous sort. In fact, you even tried to get other girls off'd if he showed them any kind of attention."
She sniffed a laugh, "That does  sound like me."
I then made a nervous chuckle, "yeah, right, don't kill me."
She giggled, profusely.

After a moment of silence, I looked down at my lap and started twiddling my thumbs.
"....I guess you get the drift by now that I'm not from around here, huh?"
"I know  you're not."
"And I didn't come here alone."
"I know that, too."
"And Pan ambushed me."
"And that..."
I rose an eyebrow, "Ya know?.....how do you know?"
She smiled. A sly little smile.

The next thing I knew, she was reaching behind her and pulling out something wrapped in a dirty, yellow-stained cloth. She held it carefully in her hands, scooting a bit closer, while I began leaning forward.
At once, she removed the cloth--
"This  is how."
It was an orb. A glowing yellow orb that had white floating sparkles circling around it-
it mesmerized me instantly and upon hovering my hand over it, the sparkles all gathered close to my skin, and for an instance, I felt a tickle of power.
"What is  it??"
She shrugged her shoulders, shifting her legs down to get more comfort.
"I don't know exactly...but I do know it can do this."
She quickly circled her hand in a small vortex around the top of the orb, which activated it almost like a key, and suddenly, it started to change color to a swirling purple cloud, before finally breaking into multiple colors, and at last, began to show images. The images I was now seeing were not images at all, but a live action feed of Pan. He was looking panicked and ran around in all directions, trying to gather up Lost Boys with Felix in tow, no doubt looking for me.
I crinkled my eyebrows at this.
"I've been watching, off and on, since you arrived here, Sarah..I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I wanted to make sure I was right about you first. I know you're looking for your friends..I know Pan captured you and you escaped...and I know you're the 'queen'.."

I tilted my head. . It's like a camera. .

"..Did you see me outside, then? Is that why you came out?"
"Didn't have to see you. You were loud enough for the whole island to hear."
"Eh, well, there goes my  secrecy.."

My eyes lifted to her, "How'd you get this?"
Her sly smile returned, "Not long ago, a stranger came to our island. I was in the area, searching for food, when they appeared through a portal. By the look of them, they didn't seem friendly. And I was right. Pan and the boys met with them, not knowing what to make of them. That's when the stranger offered to recruit  him...their only requirement of him was to capture you when you arrived. To help look out for you, they gave him this."
My heart thumped.
"You saw them??"
She slowly nodded.
"What'd they look like?! Did they have big horns and a spear??"
Her expression loosened. "no...."
"How about a black cloak??"
"I'm sorry, no....it was a lizard-like creature."
"Lizard-like??"
Sayeth whaaaatt???
"It had something over it's head, so it was hard to tell at first. But when I saw, it looked like a lizard. And it was relatively large. I couldn't quite see any details very clearly..it left by the time I got closer. After it did, I got the idea that perhaps that orb could help me  look out for Pan..so...when he was distracted, I took it."
Dude..Thiefer Bell. XD

I entered a complex state of thought.
"...Lizard thing........something over it's head??....orbs???...............dude........"
My face changed to shock and my shoulders sunk to the floor.
"I don't have the slightly idea who that is.......this has never happened to me before........I..I don't like it.."
Her face deepened in curiosity as she lowered the dimming orb down.
"Why??"
I sat back with a very stunned expression on my face, as I cradled my own legs.
"....Cuz it jeopardizes my reputation...."
Here, she laughed. Hard.
But it actually wasn't funny. I was legit ashamed of myself.
I felt like a failure in life.
But I said no more of the matter..

"You can't, by chance, see where my companions are on that thing, can ya?"
She looked at me, glumly, her laughter dying down.
"No, I'm sorry...it only shows what it wants to, sadly."
"Hm..convenient."
I found myself laying back now, resting my head against the soft material, comfortably.
"Man...this is messing my mind up in all kinds of ways...I have a million questions, with a million different things surfacing, and this is only my second world..none of it makes sense."
Tinker Bell, herself, sat back more comfortably and rested her head against the wall.
"..you mentioned about me in another life...am I in your  world?"
"ehhh.....not exactly........there's someone who looks  like you...but she's not  you...but there are...um...other versions, from other  worlds...that are  you...but they don't  look like you..."
"Oh my.."
"Yeah..it's kinda screwy...actually, it would make you crazy thinking about it. No wonder Pan and Hook wanna do that.."
"..Do what?"
".........."

Here, I sat up, holding my weight with one hand, as I looked straight at Tink, a bit nervous about telling her.
"Listen...I think I should be clear with you...I'm not like my friends..they're all...from..other worlds..I come from a place where they're all fiction. Like, made up. And they're not the most, erm, heroic  of chaps..but honestly.....they're not really fiction...you're  not really fiction...because you're all here now..and like, I travel through actual portals and zip through time to you guys, so...gahhhhhh.... like I said. A million questions. I don't understand anything anymore."
I turned my head, as Tink, who seemed to be taking it pretty well, just watched me.
"...so we're not fiction."
"......no, you're not. Can't be..."
I strained to piece everything together....
"...My companions? They kidnapped me..and they want me to help them get revenge on their enemies. They think I somehow have some sort of power...they're not good guys. They're villains. Like Hook..like Pan..and...the only way to stay alive...I......I had to tell them that...I really was  the queen..."
My heart sunk.
".....I'm not the Character Queen."
Tink frowned. "..you're not?"
I shook my head. "I'm using them. To travel..I didn't want to keep it from them, but I felt like I had no choice. I'm now seeing just how big of a mistake it was. All of this is more than I ever thought it would be. I shouldn't even be here.....I just...."
"I understand."
I looked at her.
"--But you seem like you care about them. They obviously care a little about you. Why don't you just tell  them? They might understand. It's not too late!"
I lowered my head, with a dead-serious expression.
She frowned again.
"...right...I know the feeling."
"...They would either drop me off some place I could never escape from or just plain kill me...neither sound good." "...I'm sorry."
"...eh.....I did it to myself....kinda..."

I sat back again.
"..thing is..I always wanted this. To explore worlds..to meet everyone. I always had a feeling you all were more than just fiction. Like, how could something so amazing POSSIBLY be just fiction? No one else thought like me, though...I was the only one who believed. Even when they thought I was crazy.."
I rested my head back again, this time deflated.
The room was quiet for a minute....but only for a minute.
"Can I tell you something?" Tink spoke, honestly.
"I love you."
My head rose up at her, in surprise. "Wait...huh???"
"Just...you. You're amazing."
My eyes increased in a taken back manner. "Me??"
"Yes."
She now beamed, happily. "Your entire existence. You are like no other person I have met.  I've never had a true friend before. I was always rather different from the other fairies...but for the little time that we've been talking...there's just something about you. Something special. I see it! I feel like I can tell you everything and I can trust you. As if you can fix all the problems we have on Neverland...you have a glow about you. A happy, childlike glow..you possess faith and trust that I have never  seen in anyone your age, or even past it. Against all odds, you believed!"
Her eyes twinkled like a couple of stars. "That's the most powerful thing in the world."

I couldn't help myself.
I smiled wide, shrinking with happiness that someone was actually praising me for being like a kid.
"Tink? Why don't you come with us?"
She looked surprised. "You mean...travel with you??"
"Ah..well..ya know..I'll feel kind've sorry for you. Jim sort've flirts constantly..." I smirked at this.
"But you deserve better than to be stuck here. Even escaped, you're basically still Pan's prisoner. If you come with us, we'll at least take you somewhere safe."
Her head moved down and she fiddled with the frailed parts of her clothes.
"I'd love to travel with you all, really...but honestly? I would love nothing more than to rejoin with the other fairies. To the Blue Fairy. To explain to her..to apologize..to make things up to her. I miss being a fairy. I want my wings again...I'm sure you can understand."
"In other words, you just wanna go home."
Her face was mixed with sadness and dreaminess.
I smiled. "...Well, fear not."
I started to stand.
"Take you home, I shall."
"You're leaving?!" She breathed, sitting up in alarm.
As I stood, my legs wobbled, aching from sitting on them too long.
I looked down at her, with a hint of cockiness.
"Well, yeah..treehouse is nice and all, but I really don't wanna be stuck here forever, Tink...I've got companions to find."

She then developed a smile of her own.
"Well, alright again."
Quickly, she turned the pot away from the fire, put the fire itself out, then shot up with a bounce, her face beaming with excited glee. "Let's go!"