Five - Pt. 6 -

Chapter 5 in which the party arrives in Lake Town...

thunk

We landed on the deck, which wobbled underneath us upon impact.
Not a very comforting thing, but the town WAS built on top of the water, after all.
I looked around me; everything was rather colorless and dreary.
The air smelled of fish and grease. Yeah, I felt sick.
I looked down and tapped my boots. I was wet..and it made my boots all squeaky.
For no real reason at all, I touched my hair. And sure enough, it was soaked.

The water made it's normal dark brown turn almost black.
I took both hands and began to wring large portions out; it began to puddle next to my shoes.
Dang.
I hate my long hair only because it gets in my way a lot. But it's definitely not going anywhere.
No where but my head.

The Master got out and stood beside me. I glanced at him, with caution..he seemed to be scanning the area, rather intently. "Look at it...the town."
There was a slight hint of disappointment in his voice, "It's enormous...it could be anywhere."
".....The T.A.R.D.I.S...."
He did a single nod.
"It's going to take awhile..hours.."
I looked in the opposite direction, at the people scurrying about with their pointless lives.
Hm. Things were normal for them....not so normal for me.
"Did you even have a chance to fix it??"
He turned his attractive attention to me, "I only had a chance to send it off for one trip. I'm not quite sure what the complete damage is, yet...if it's severe..well then, it could take days to repair."
....What did my ears just hear???
"Are you kidding me?!"
The jerk chuckled.
There went my hands, high up into the air.
"That's just terrific...." Face-palm.

I sighed and leaned against the boat, crossing my arms.
"What are you complaining about?" He questioned. He gestured at the area. "This is what you wanted."
I made a frown. "Yeah, but...now that I'm here, it feels...wrong. I've realized things aren't meant to be changed..and I honestly feel guilty."
"Why?" He asked it, but I knew he really didn't care.
I glanced at him...I didn't wanna get too deep and let slip my true identity.
"I just wanna leave before I cause more damage...okay?"
But the jerk once again scoffed at my inner pain and struggles.
"You heroes...always so sentiment."
"You villains. Always so overcome."
He tried not to look at me, but I could feel his gaze as strongly as a slap to the face.

Bane and Joker, too, disembarked from the boat and had a long look around.
Bane did his usual grab-of-the-vest-straps and stood with his bald head held high to examine his surroundings, standing there scanning things almost like a Terminator.
Joker, on the other hand, didn't seem too interested, although you never can tell with him.
After doing a big stretch, he just stood there, looking around, and kept smacking and licking his lips, with a rather unamused expression on his face.
Moriarty just wandered back and forth, staring at the same things over and over, including his own reflection at a nearby window, with his hands in his pockets like a bored little boy.

Master took a short-distanced step, but then halted as he wobbled and immediately looked down, jiggling as if he were on jello.  
"..When you said..'town'..I thought of it more as a..more of a steady foundation."
"Nah, they just decided to call it 'Lake Town' cuz it sounded nice."
"I thought it was just NEAR the lake...not ON it!"
He held his balance, even though it really wasn't necessary.
I slowly turned my head at him, smirking like a jerk. Yes, I was indeed taking full advantage of his misery. It's what he did to others on a daily basis, after all.
"You afraid?"
His eyes screamed for me to shut up.
"Little Master's afraid of a little water? What're ya, a cat? You afraid of getting wet?!"
"Oh, I suppose you're so brave!" "I know what and who to fear, and the ocean is by far not one of them. Including you..." I steadily poked at his chest to make him wiggle off balance. "--'Fraidy cat!"
"Don't be absurd!" Yeah, his voice came out a little too high-pitched than I felt comfortable with.
He tightened his fists in fury. "Why the bloody *beep* is this on the WATER?!"
"Reasons. And watch your language, child."
"I'm over 900 years old!" "That's what they all say.."

Bard was the last to dismount himself from the boat, proceeding to tie the rope to the dock.
I managed to push Master away from his statue state, and the others and I soon migrated in the opposite direction against the side of a building, where at least I watched the lake man.
To be perfectly honest, we were all still very confused and very wet.
None of us knew what to do. Not even me. Okay, ESPECIALLY me.
"What now, kid?" "Stop asking me questions." "You're the one familiar with this world!"
"I'm just as---you know what, I don't need to answer to you! No!"
"No, what?" Joker tried.
"No, everything. All the things. No to you. No to life. Just no."
"Then why did we even bother COMING here???"
"UGH, I was wrong, okay?! ALRIGHT? There! We should never have come! We should have never interfered! You happy?! And dang it, I want pizza!!" "..So you're saying you're not happy to be in....center earth?" "Middle Earth. And it's not my first choice."
"I suppose she'd want to go to...Barbie Land..or..Pony land."
I casted Master a glare, with a raised eyebrow. "Sure, if I was 3."

Jim, who I was unfortunately positioned next to, slowly rotated his head at me, as slow as a clock hand reaching towards the new hour. I narrowed my eyes as I stared straight ahead, trying my best to ignore him.
"Sooooooo, what world did you want to visit....you know...to play at....just out of curisityyyy???"
I swear, up close, his voice sounds like the humming of an engine that needs to be fixed.
But nope, no hesitation there. "GOTHAM."
Joker's interest was immediately piqued, "Really?!"
"Absolutely! ♥" "Gotham..??" Bane repeated. Such a quiet man.
"Ohhhh my gosh, yes! If there is any world in the galaxy I'd want to visit, it's Gotham! I love it to death, I tell you! I love everything about it; the city, the people, the excitement, the whole atmosphere! For reals, if I ever got stuck there, everything would be ok. I mean, I naturally wanna visit everywhere, but Gotham is so important to me, it's such a wonderful place, and I still want pizza."

I suddenly found myself broken away from the group and pacing like a weirdo.
"I'm serious, pure amazement. It comes from my extreme love of Batman, don't-chya-know. I've been addicted to Batman for as long as I can remember--my two favorite heroes have always been Batman and Spider-Man--maybe tipping over more to Batman, TBH...but it's totally not that I just love Batman, y'know, it's the whole series- I LOVE the series. All the characters, the storyline, the heroes, the villains, the city, all the things! Legit, I got so many Batman things, it's unreal, the merchandise alone. I mean, you should just see my room--no never mind, scratch that, never see my room, never enter my room, stay out of my room."
I shook away the suggestion upon realizing a part of the consumption of my room involved posters and things those four really had no business looking at. I tossed my arms around.
"And it may sound like I'm all about Batman, and indeed, it's wayyyyy up there--but I love the insanity that practically everyone suffers from and how there's never a dull day in Gotham, and you're all fabulous and just ugh. But I'm into SO many other things, there's little my tiny fan self does not touch!"

Short pause for a breath.
"The movies and everything is pure amazement, I devour it all! You, Joker, I mean, I love all the portrayals of you, but YOUR version is just, WOW. Best. You give me chills and you're hilarious and just AWESOME, man! And Bane! Dude, sir, you're where the epicness is at! You're so powerful and evil and---ahh!
And I'm serious, if I could, I would just go back in time and meet Bob Kane and Bill Finger and hug them, cuz I'm that grateful to them for creating it all, they don't even realize!"
Continue.
"YOU don't even realize! I mean, people talk about my character obsession like it's a joke, but it's not a joke, it's never been a joke to me. For real, I just, all my life, you've all been more than just fiction to me, it's so much more personal than that, I just live and breathe you guys! And I mean it, I really do-- everything, every single little thing has been so special and just..it's all so amazing to me! It's inspired me. You all inspired me. Watching you, growing up--it opened my eyes, and made me into who I wanna be. A film maker, a writer..watching you gave me hope and strengthened my belief. It's like I KNEW you were real. Like I can be anything I wanted to be. Anything at all. It helped to make me be fearless and feel special. And I know, it sounds total cheeseball, but it's TRUE. You're all awesome and gosh..I mean, you have fans, you have the interested party, then you have the ones who shun the very idea of fiction...then you have me.. and I just....I just--"
deep breath.....it settled in.
"...have been...wanting this my entire life."
I rolled my shoulders. "...I believed in you...you helped me...and my whole life, I've been waiting for the day something like this happened..and well.....I guess my dream came true."
I finally looked at them and smiled.
"......yeah, well....I'm sure you mean, meeting your heroes....."
I shrugged. "..I mean, all of you. Any of you. It doesn't matter. You're all important to me."

Wow.
I didn't expect any of that. Like, at all. Came from no where.
Didn't intend to go on like that. In fact, I didn't intend to go on at all.
I was just gonna tell 'em I love Batman and that was it.
But no, my extreme fiery character passion spewed out and before I knew it, I was running at the mouth and making an even bigger fool of myself infront of the crooks.
DUDE, I was pouring my heart and soul out to four villainous men who didn't give two frags about me or my dreams. So I honestly expected odd looks or blank expressions.
....But no...surprisingly...they looked..well, different than before my motivation speech to myself started.
Almost a little...heart-warmed.
Even Joker looked a little fazed.
I was not really pleased with myself for this, and yes, expected pain and death...but they just stared.
Master, in fact, even smiled...

Truth be told, I meant every word.
......but after awhile, it got weird.
"..K, why you four lookin' at me like that???"
I received no reply.
My eyes shifted to the ground.
Where's some duct tape for my bloated ol' mouth when you need it????

Bard was finished. He gathered his things and stepped off the boat.
We all turned our attention to him.
"You'll be safe here." He said quietly, politely gesturing at me.
"Thank you," I curtsied. "I really appreciate it." I peeked at the others.
"..And so do my comrades."
He slowly nodded his head, looking at them. In his eyes, there was still distrust and suspicion directed towards them. They didn't seem too keen on him themselves.
"Yes..well...good luck to you."
He started off away from us, leaving me back in the complete care of dem punks.
My sigh was shaky. I honestly wasn't afraid of them, or nervous about what they might do..but I was  concerned about how much longer we were going to be there.
I sure didn't want to cause any more damage.
Then suddenly... a surge. Pain.
The air was sucked right out of me. Yep..knew that was gonna happen.
"Owwwwwww."
The boys sighed as I held my forehead.
Okay....apparently, it wasn't  the forest magic. It was me.
Fan-freaking-tastic.
"It wasn't the forest, IT WASN'T THE FOREST" I alerted them, as I did the usual gig, falling to my knees, gritting my teeth in excruciating pain, yada yada.
One of them hurried behind me, their footsteps shaky and distant, as my hearing pulsed like a heart beat, and became distorted, and loud and quiet. They laid a hand on my shoulder, making me jump.
"The vile, miss Sarah!" I made out as best as I could.
My whole body tensed and I clamped the sides of my head, as I shook all over.
"The bottle! Drink the bottle!" exclaimed Master.
I looked up at Bane, who towered over me, and my eyes started to water from stinging so badly.
He read my plead, with neither of us speaking a word to eachother, and grabbed the end of my hoodie, shaking it like crazy. With his other hand, he caught the vile, opened it up and quickly brought it up to my mouth. The liquid was immediately shoved down my throat, and I had no complaints.
I held the bottle with a shaky hand and squeezed my eyes shut.
The taste was beyond bitter--like stronger than lemons bitter...and everything else tasted like flat soda.
Ugghhhh, the price of health and a clear conscious.

Moriarty and Master hurried behind us, where Jim knelt down.
Master remained standing, who eyed the Irish squirrel in a strange way.
"Getting concerned, are we?" "Noo, I just wanna watch, is allll..."
I heard that, you jerk.
Consider yourself officially marked off the potential husband list!
Remind me next time HE is in agonizing pain that I pay him back by kneeling next to him and staring, cuz I just wanna watch, is allllll.
Too much was going into me that I did not want to waste.
So I quickly stopped the bottle, shoving it away from my mouth. Soon, I went into a coughing fit.
Joker hurried around me, not out of concern.. but to also watch.
SUCH JERKS.

Breathing was a main factor at that moment-- I sounded like a fish.
Once I recovered a little, giving the others uneasy glares, I eyed the helpful masked man.
"...thanks." I wheezed, holding onto my knees.
He pat my shoulder, in response.

Well, miraculously, my head began to clear. My headache subsided, the fumes that built up dissipated.
After awhile of going through that pain, I actually felt normal again. Well...as normal as I'm gonna get.
Whoa then..the medicine actually...worked.
"Did it work?" One of them asked, me not paying attention to who.
I bowed my head. ". . . ." ...a few more minutes...I nodded.
"Yeah..I think so."
"Good. Now get up." "Lay off, clown."
"Give 'er a minute." "What are you, her attorney?"
Master slowly sent Joker a look that could kill.
"Don't. test. me."
ooh, villain tensions. Yum!
"Boys, behave."
My poor little mind. My poor little shaking body. My poor little nerves..those boys were not making things better. I struggled back up, using Moriarty as my support, because I say so.
Bane laid his hands on my shoulders, as I tried to breathe normally.
"How do you feel?" "Like crap." I shrugged. "But..I think I'll be fine now....maybe."
"Well, we can't stand here all day long, thinking about it."
I swear, I was about to...do something very violent to him.
"I'd hate to agree with the clown, but he is right. We've gotta get a move on."
I crinkled my eyebrows and looked on to the town.
Gosh, it really was huge for a midget like me. I felt so small in it.
You know what, I feel so small around everyone, this is stupid, I'm tiny, I don't wanna go adventuring with them anymore.
"You said it yourself, it'll take days."
Master looked away, out into the ocean. "It might..."
hmm... "Not unless we split up."
"Perhaps.."
Something drew me to look up, so I peeked at the sky. "What in the--" "..What's wrong?"
"The sky.." I pointed. "It's getting dark."
Bane jerked his head back, "Impossible!"
"I thought we just got done with night time!" "Ok, this is weird..."
I gave a passing merchant a quick tug of the arm and he swung around to look at me.
There was a nervous streak in his eyes.
"You. What time is it?" "I beg your pardon, ma'am!" He tried to get away, but I held on tighter, and sighed, frustratedly. "Is it going to be day time, or is it going to be night time?"
He perked his head up. "Ohh, going into the evening, m'lady! Almost time for supper!"
We all jerked our heads back. It was just morning!
I was so struck with curiosity, that I let the man go, and laid a few fingers thoughtfully over my mouth.
"How is it----wha---I don't---I JUST--?!! SOMEONE EXPLAIN!" I held my forehead. "Make me a believer!" Omg! Too much!
"It appears time is different here." "But normal for them..." "Clearly."
Jim turned to me, "Whatta we gonna do then?? We can't go huntin' in the dark.."
He quickly changed his tune, with a change in expression, as well.
"I mean, we cannn...it'll just be more adventurous."
He winked at me. I swear...
"It's up to you, your majesty." The Master did in an annoying, mocking curtsy.
I squinted my eyes for a second. "I dunno, bro..maybe..." I frowned. "Maybe..."
The thought was coming to my head, and the others soon caught on.
In perfect unison, we all said the exact same thing; "Bard."

- - -

"Hurry, we've gotta catch up to him! He can't be too far!"
"Stop shoving it in our faces that you're young and full of energy and slow down, will ya?!"
The others were losing stamina fast as I raced past the large crowds of people, speeding in the direction I saw Bard disappear into.
"Slow down, kid!"
But I was too busy zipping and ducking and skipping around all the townies and I was highly amused by the rush I was receiving.
"Darlin', please!"  Aww, Jim, that was actually sort've pitiful. ♥
I skid to a stop, wobbling in the process to regain my balance, flapping my arms around like a penguin.
Boy, was I out of breath. The boys had a chance to catch up.
"Ugghhh, thank you."
"Didn't do it for you." I wheezed.
We all were huffing and puffing to regain some of the oxygen we had lost and by golly mcgurmish, I was tired, darn it! "Ugggh, I need sleep!"
I thrashed my head around, "I haven't gotten any proper shut-eye in so longggg, I hate you all."
I finally managed to stand up straight and hold my hips.
"I'm serious, you better have a nice comfy bed for me in that old alien box, or we're gonna have words!"
"I told you, I can program the T.A.R.D.I.S. to have anything. You'll get your bed."
"Jim, shut up." "I didn't even-" "Just taking precautions."
I got back to the matter at hand.
"Any sign of 'im?" "Not yet.." "Maybe he's already home?"
"Doubtful. He wasn't too far ahead of us, and there's no reason for him to rush, so there's no real reason why we would lose him." Our party looked on in silence. This was depressing.
I sighed. "This is stupid."
"Wait," Master hurried around me, looking about like he was onto something.
"..This is a market area, yes? He could be shopping here. You mentioned before how he was a family man. Perhaps--" "-He's picking up something for dinner." I genuinely grinned at him.
"Harold, you're a genius." I could tell he was gritting his teeth in frustration.
Ignoring his anger, I pat his back. "Hey, come up with a more proper name than "The Master" and I'll stop addressing you as Harry Saxon."
He shrugged me off as I passed and gravitated to Bane.
"How about we split up in this general area and keep searching for him?"
He nodded, "It's the smartest choice. We will go into two's, I assume?"
"Preferably."
"Well, we're an odd number, unfortunately. One of us has to go it alone. I'll go with-"
"Jim. You'll go with Jim."
My eyes traveled to the Irish little demon who deflated, sadly, at my choice.
Master's eyes moved to the Joker. "...You really want him to go alone??"
"Course not. He's going with Bane."
They all snapped their necks at me. "But you.."
"We're in a town surrounded by water, seriously, WHERE am I gonna go?!"
Master, too, deflated. I pushed past him.
"I'll meet you all at the center of the market when I find him. Try not to do anything too villainous in my absence." I heard a chuckle or two from the Joker.
Painful reminders filled my brain of the last time I caught them doing something they knew they weren't supposed to. Yeah...I needed to hurry.

. . . . .

Five minutes in, I was pushing and sliding and sometimes crawling past all the people and ugh, so many people, it was unreal. "Where the bajeezus?!"
ugghhhhh. I finally had it.
"Does anyone know where BARD is?!?!?!"
...Well, one lady took notice.
She pointed east. "Over there! At the fish stand!"
"Fish stand?" I looked. SURE ENOUGH.
Yay, gossip! I gave her my thanks and bolted a little too fast and stumbled and yelled "BARD!" with the wind knocked out of me and had a full blown collision course with the fish stand and pain and oww and thud and crash and so much fish.
Next thing I know, I'm laying flat on the ground, my face buried deep in wood. Umph.
"...Lady Sarah?"
I felt a soft kick in my side. Well, gee.
Then a few hands planted themselves on my shoulders and I was dragged up. Random people helping me?! Unlikely. Nope, I simply lowered my brows at Bane and Joker.
...Take a wild guess which one kicked me.

But never mind them and their disobedience.
I pushed past them, waddling and knocking against the stand and pointed at the mess my clumsiness made, looking at the fish seller man guy.
"I'll pay this up and clean for things and stuff."
boof. Stumbled right into Bard himself.
"IIIIIIIII am so sorry."
Straighten up, you fool!
Ugh, if Bard didn't think I was an idiot before...and I still  had the nerve to ask him to let me sleep under his roof. "Look, I know I said I'd be out've your hair once you gave us a lift to town, and I'm grateful, I really am! BUT my comrades and I didn't realize it was this late..and now we can't search for our ship---"
"You need shelter for the night?"
Hmmmmm..I narrowed my eyes. "...yes..."
He lifted his chin.
".....Sooo, I was wondering if you know anyone who can help us?"
That's right, play it cool.
I awaited his reply for a moment, but that was naturally spoiled by the sounds of shouts and anger and commotion and the lot of everyone was soon distracted by this, as well.
I rolled my eyes as I rotated to see what the blazes.
"Oh, what now?"
I swear, I leave those dopes for five minutes....
But it wasn't my villains they were distracted by, after all. It was the town's.

I froze and tightened as a criminal disguised as a boss man emerged from within the crowd.
He wore a weird hat too big for his head, which btw was covered in dirty, disgusting, unwashed red hair with a giant beard attached to his hideous face.
And he wore clothes so baggy and ugly and grimy, I wanted to choke.
He was an obviously unpleasant thing to look at, but whatta ya gonna do? This gluttonous oaf was the Master...the other Master. The Master of Lake Town.
He wasn't a pretty man. Not physically, nor internally, nor mentally, nor spiritually, nor metaphorically, nor anythingly. He was killing the town in any way he legally could.
And getting his shifty ways illegally, as well.

Beside him was an equally matched clueless wonder. Dressed in black, with a strange little hat covering his shorter, grubby black hair. Greasy and uncleansed in every part of his face. This was Alfrid.
And don't even get me started on their manners.
They yelled with cross accents at the townspeople, pushing and shoving, calling everyone nasty names as they went along. "You insolent traitors!" The Master exclaimed.
"Why are you harboring criminals?!"
WHEEZE! CRAP!
I quickly swung around, yanking Bane and Joker's arms to do the same. "Bard!"
"I know, come.."
He grabbed my arm and hurried away with us in tow. We all ducked behind another stand and watched for further development. I peeked at Bard, who looked rather intrigued by the situation-- and I silently prayed to God that he'd help Bard do the WRONG thing, and keep us a secret.
.......For what it's worth, that man looked like a super model compared to the other two dopes.


The Master and Alfrid

While the Master and his lackey barked this and that to the market crowd, I turned to my companions.
"And what are you two even doing here?!"
"Followed you, kid." "That was not part of the agreement."
"Don't look at me, masky here insisted we look after you."
Annnddd, another point for Bane's loyalty. He was very quickly becoming my favorite. :)
I gave him a smirk. Back to Bard.
"Dude, Master and Moriarty are still out there! I can't leave 'em to be arrested!"
"Wait.." He said at once. His eyes glazed with curiosity.
"........It may not be you they're after."
Curious myself, I slowly turned my head back to watch.
The huge oaf puffed up his chest, breathing like a rhino, and pointed a gnarly hand at the crowd.
"Whoever gives up his whereabouts will have---10 gold shillings!"
Cue gasps from the crowd.
"20!...50!!.....100!!"
There was wild fire. He was playing them, the jerk.
The person who turned the guy in wouldn't see a single shilling, let alone 100.
I knew this guy. He was slime.
But the question remained...who on Middle Earth were they looking for?

Then, out of the blue, a woman popped up out of the abyss of people.
"I've seen him! I know which direction he went in! It was that way!"
She pointed to the east, and everyone looked to that direction like a herd of cattle-- even the boys and I at first started to do this, but we quickly caught ourselves.
I wasn't about to get pulled into this lie... Hey, I know the people, too.
They were playing the Master right back for a shilling or two.
The Master's eyes narrowed at this, his jaw partially hanging open, and he slowly approached the woman.
"Are you sure?"  He sounded skeptical, as he should.
The woman nodded with a hidden smirk.
He snorted, rubbing his chin. "Mmmm, very well, take your best guards and search that way."
His other lackeys nodded at the command and started off in that direction.
The Master began to turn, but the woman stopped him. "Oh, uh...my payment, sir?"
Badum-bum. Told ya.
He turned with a sneer. "Payment?"
"For...for helping you...sir."
"What makes you think I would give you money for such a penniless act? For all I know, you were lying."
"But I gave you information!" "False information...mmm, but you see, I don't give rewards for information. I give them for action. For results. Not hear-say." He stuck his nose in the air.
The woman deflated, with a look of such disappointment embedded in her face.
you tried. you failed.
"Alright, you ugly lot!"
UGLY lot?! Have you looked in a mirror ever in your life, Fabio?!
Joker was even prettier than him, and I don't find him attractive at all!
"Clear the way, clear the way!"
Alfrid pushed the people out of the way and charged out of there, his boss man slowly in tow, like they were British mafia.

My eyebrows crinkled. Something was up. Something not in the books or movies.
Then I remembered. Someone appeared inside Mirkwood and told the Elven King about me. And that was a 'he'. And it just so happened to be a strange 'he' that the Master and Alfrid were looking for.
This could only mean one thing.
"Someone else is here, too."
Bane and Joker looked at me.
I stood up once the coast was clear and the others followed.
"We need to get Master and Moriarty and find our ship already." "Desperate to get out?"
"...I don't know now. Maybe not. I just want it safe with us."
Bane's eyes shifted to me. "You believe this stranger is here on our account, and may well use the box against us?"
". . . Possibly. As I said, I don't know. But something outlandish is going down and whoever this is, he wants trouble." "How do you figure that?" Questioned Joker.
"He keeps going to talk to racist pigs. I think he's stirring everyone up..perhaps to break the fourth wall."
"Like a fox in a chicken coop." "Ok, that made no sense, Jim."
I turned to the newly arrived Master and Moriarty.
Master skipped introductions and jumped into the convo.
"This man, do you think he's like us??" "What, a character?"
He nodded.
My eyebrows crinkled and I looked down, in thought.
...
"Before you guys showed up, there were two men..alien hunters..I came across them the night I was looking for the U.F.O., a.k.a. you. And they told me they had detected alien activity. Maybe it's just a coincidence...but maybe...just maybe..." "They're the ones behind this?"
I nodded my yes. Lot of nodding going on.
"Not impossible. If they detected us, and time is a complicated matter to where they just as easily could skip your headstart through time travel and stir up trouble for you to fix, then, well.."
"Whatta ya mean for ME to fix?! You think they know about me?!"
"It is curious they appeared in the same area you were at, coincidentally looking for 'aliens'."
My eyes enlarged. Great Scott! The conspiracy! ♥

It suddenly hit me that we were going on and on about this and there Bard was, standing behind us, listening to every little bit of secrecy we had in store for him.
Please, sir, don't burn us. We're not witches.
I quickly turned, but then I was gently pushed out've the way by the bargeman and I watched as he approached the very same woman who gave the local authorities 'information'.
I scrambled after him to see what he was gonna do, while my villains stayed behind for the time being.
"Miss.." Bard called. She turned to face him.
He gave a polite nod as he stood infront of her, his hands firmly curled to fists at his sides.
"Who are they looking for?"
She ran her tongue along the inside of her cheek. "While you were gone, Bard, there was a man who came to town. Not a very old man..he looked young in the face, from what I saw of it..quite handsome, too! And he wore black..such strange garbs..and I think he might've had dark hair."
My eyebrows rose. Dark hair, you say.. ♥
"He was rather snooty and quite aggressive with the guards when they tried to arrest him...and he carried such odd weapons..." "Please, I don't care about him, just his business in this town."
SHHH, Bard, quiet! I think I might've found my future hubby. ;)
She pouted her lip. "Oh, sorry, Bard...he demanded to see the Master and he threatened to burn the whole town down if they didn't take him right then."
Aww. ^_^
"So they took him. Last I heard of the matter, the meeting didn't go so well. The Master refused whatever the young man had to offer, and the stranger hit him in the face...well, as far as I heard.."
My hand clamped over my jaw to hold back an oncoming roar of laughter.
"Now he's on the run. Word is, they're gonna hang him once they find him."
Ttt...true love never lasts. </3

Bard seemed uninterested. I dunno why; the whole thing was lively for me, I found my soul mate.
"Why did you provide the Master with such a lie?"
She instantly had a look of great guilt. "Times are hard, Bard..you know that..I needed to provide for my family..I barely make a living, or a crumb to eat.."
She sighed as she beat her fists gently against her hips.
I bit the inside of my cheek, in sympathy for the chick, and slowly cut my eyes to Bard.
"And truth be told, I don't want them to find that young man..you know how unreasonable the Master can be. Sometimes I feel like clocking him myself.."
Bard's body sagged and he laid a hand on her shoulder. "...aye..."
He then, out of the blue, pulled something from his pocket and gently took her hand, placing whatever it was atop her palm. She took a peek at it, then had a face of great alarm.
"But Bard, you-" "Keep it." "I can't!" "Please."
He backed up a little, "You have a family, too."
She was reluctant at first to accept such an offer, but eventually grabbed her satchel and dumped her shilling gift inside anyway, then started off. "Bless you, Bard!"

Bard turned around and started walking back towards the others.
I hurried to his side. "You're so generous." I said with a smile.
"You really don't give yourself enough credit."
I wanted to say something....but it might.....ah, what the heck?
"You know, you really should consider running for the Master's position yourself."
He gave me a look.
"I'm serious! Back where I come from, we call that politics. A campaign for a better tomorrow. And lemme tell ya, you'd be a 1000 times better master for these people than....the Master."
lower la eyebrows.
"Mmm..what was his name again?" "The Master."
"I mean, his real name." "...The Master."
. . . . . . . . . . I sighed.
Really?

"What was that about?" Jim questioned, as we got back to them.
I eyed the four. "Things." "I questioned the woman who spoke to the Master."
"Me? I never-" "Lake Town Master, Master."
"She told us about a man, who's come to town and is on the run. The Master is searching for him."
"A man?" "The criminal they spoke of?"
"Bard, honey, can you give us a minute?" He glared at me. I made a lopsided frown.
Without another word, he nodded and left us in privacy.
I turned right back to the boys.
"We've got issues. The guys I mentioned may not be involved, after all."
"How do you-" "This is a single young guy. Dark hair, clad in black, handsome to boot, feisty and sassy, and I love him and I haven't even met him yet. Nothing alike to a small grumpy bald munchkin and blonde-headed terminating ken doll who gets a face pampering an hour per day. True, there might still be a chance they're involved. But this guy's got spice. Lots of spice."
"How much spice?"
I pivoted my body and walked off a little ways, the others following me. I then turned around.
"He threatened to burn the whole town down if they didn't take him to see the Master."
... ! ! !
I tried to hide the sudden smirk that escaped from my mouth.
"IDK, boys, if we catch up to him, your days of being my companions are numbered, cuz I think I just found my true love." I shrugged. "I mean, burning a whole town... He means business."
Moriarty scoffed. "Puh, I can burn ten towns..."
"..Do I detect a hint of jealousy, Jim?"
I gave him a mischievous grin, as he looked away. "Awww..."
"So, there's someone else here that doesn't belong..."
I looked back. "And creating quite the mess, it seems."
"I like this kid," Master said with a handsome grin. "Let's find 'im."
Jim still was pouting. I reached in and caressed the side of his head.
"Aw, don't worry. I'll never steer away from my favorite little villain." I winked. "Promise.♥"
He licked his lips after giving me a blank stare.
Couldn't tell if this was his strange version of flirting or if the tiny voices inside his head were encouraging him to kill me with fire for touching him.
But I persevered!

"Now for the matter of shelter."
Mmph.
"What's the plan? You dorks still think it's a good idea to be staying with random chomps tonight?"
"Better than getting arrested out here with that grubby bloke.."
"That's what I'm getting at..these people will burn freaks like us..."
"Then stay with me."
We all swung around. Darn it, Bard.
"Bard!" My heart skipped and I threw myself at him.
"Thank you, thank you!! You're such a life saver!"
Woop, personal space, release. "A---are you sure??"
He lifted his chin up, "Just for tonight.."
He eyed the others with suspicion. "But those four stay outside." "Outside where?" "Front porch."
"Done." "Oy!" "Moving on!" "You can't just-" "MEN. MANAGE."
"----Well now that you've gotten personal about it.."
"Enough whining already, you're worse than 12 twelve year old school girls."
Joker had a blank stare. "...Ouch..."
I bowed my head at Bard old man. "Thanks ever so much, Bard. I don't even know how I could ever repay you!" "You mean well...don't feel indebted. We are all suffering through hard times as of late.."
"Huh..ain't that the truth."

A pat on the shoulder made me actually feel important.
"In the morning, after breakfast, I shall assist you in finding your ship." "Dude, no way!" "Please, I insist.."
But morning, though...
Morning to me was like...12:30 PM
Morning to him and everybody else is like...5:14 AM
None of this early hogwash, I refuse.
But I knew where he was getting at.
"I suppose I have no other choice. You win, my good man."
-fist bump that makes sense to us, not so much the people of our past-
He gave my hand such a look, I felt sadness.
I slowly retracted it, with such shame.
"If you don't mind.." He shoved a basket into my arms, without warning.
"...I'd appreciate if you picked up some groceries for my family. I have other matters to attend."
"....." I did nothing but stare at the basket in silence.
My eyes slowly rose back up at him. "I....I....I have no money.."
Plop. He dropped a handful of coins into the carrier.
He gave a little nod as he moved away. "We'll meet back at the---" He paused when he spotted the fish stand. Which..was..a disaster. Oh yeah.....
"...What used to be the fish stand."
Neerrrvvvous laughter.
"Until then," And whoosh! He was gone.

"Well."
"I think you're not the only one who's found true love today." Master chuckled, gesturing at the basket.
"He just gave you wife benefits."
....Nope. I was fresh out've creative come-backs.
"Shuddup." I spun on my heels. "Friends can shop for friends!"
As I moved a few yards away, I came to realize I was going on this journey alone.
I twirled like a ballerina. "Y U NO FOLLOW?"
"What, you need help picking up apples??"
"No, I just don't wanna be alone and leave you four beefs unattended to cause havoc."
"May I remind you, we have a T.A.R.D.I.S. to--" "The Queen has spoken!"
Master jerked his head back. "You don't-" "Spoken!"
I snatched Bane by the arm and dragged him off with me.
The rest sighed and slowly trudged after us.

~

"Food!" I cried with glee, skipping to the stands with the biggest grin on my face.
"Sweet, glorious food! How I have missed you!"
"What, the dwarves didn't feed ya?"
"Oh, they fed me.." errrr.... "......something. I wouldn't necessarily call it stew...but they fed me."

Ohhh, I was seeing so many tempting things.
I wanted to buy them all and have a great big feast! Just like a queen would do.
"Well, what're you waiting for?"
"Come again?"
"Grab something."
"But--"
"Just take it, while the owners are distracted!"
"You're insane! I don't steal, remember? In case you forgot, I am a good guy."
"Ugh--" Joker shook his head. "This trip is gonna be longgg..."
"And getting into trouble for theft, then going to jail is so much faster.."
"...Taking it would be quicker."
"And using money has a similar time span." I pulled out the gold shillings from within the basket and bounced them around in my hands. He sighed, frustratedly.
"Oh, just at least PRETEND to be law-abiding for five minutes, you little psycho.."
I know that's a lot to ask of the Joker, but honestly.
I'm not one to fall into peer pressure. I ain't turning into a specialized criminal just because I'm around a few villains. . . .Yeah, I was that popular as a kid.

"But dude, I am so not taking real civilization for granted ever again! I will treasure every piece of chocolate, every crisp, every slice of pizza--and all the sleep in the world! Ugh, the sooner we find the T.A.R.D.I.S., the better!" "Well, that would be easier, if we give up grocery shopping."
"Shush, Ireland." I grabbed an apple and bit into it.
I flicked one towards him, which he caught with one hand. I winked. "I owe you."
I shivered as the juicy, delicious piece of fruit ran down my throat.
"Dude, all this adventuring is giving me so much inspiration. I need a paper and pen, at once!"
"What?"
"What, you think just because I'm living the dream, visiting fictional worlds with fictional characters, that I'd stop writing?! It's what I do, it's who I am! I've gotta have some kind of hobby."
Ah, lettuce. My old foe.
"Gotta make money somehow. Besides the point, all this adventuring is giving me a boat load of good material. Heck, I'm definitely using this--like, oh my gosh, think of the----uuuuuhhhhh, gaasssspppp, THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT!" "What are you jabbing on about??"
"US! What we're doing! Dude, I'm TOTALLY turning this into a book! Brilliant, brilliant!"
"A book on us?" "I better not sound stupid..."
"Nah, bro, I've gotta chronicle all this junk somehow! Think of the sales! ♥ Seriously, this kind've story's gonna rock. Me, trailing a fictional world, along with a few bad boy buddies-- best story ever."
Loaves of bread! Excellent weapons.
"I suppose you're right. But don't portray me incorrectly, and no love triangles."
"Hogwash. You clearly have never read any of my stories. Back home, I'm known for writing you guys right--and the only time I actually do love triangles, it's played for humor. But, in this case, I'll avoid such a thing. For your sake."

I grabbed a couple of potatoes and dumped them in the basket as I slowly advanced away from the four.
I was wondering something.. actually, I had been wondering about it for some time, but now, the thought was becoming more prominent inside my brain.
...Eh, I'd hold it off for now.
"We need a name." "A name?" "For the story. Y'know, a title." I turned. "Something that captures the content perfectly. Not something dumb sounding, or that has absolutely nothing to do with the actual story."
Joker smacked his lips; an actually common habit of his that I just recently began to take notice of.
"How aboutttt...'Scream'?" "Ugh." "It's not a lie." He pointed out.
"Yeah, but ew..and, taken."
I looked over at Jim, who seemed to be pondering on something, his hands stuffed in his coat pockets.
"Got something on your mind, teddy bear?"
"...how about...traveling with bad guys?" "yawn."
"Wha-it's to the point!" "You're on a good track, it just lacks....a flare. Any spice."
"Hm."
I grabbed my chin in thought, trying to come up with utter brilliance.
"..Adventuring!"
.....?! Aha!
I snapped my fingers and with a twirl, I was facing the others.
"Adventuring with Villainous Chaps!" Cue quizzical expressions.
"Villainous Chaps?" "Yeah! Especially down to the point and it's got a bit of catchiness to it. Plus it sounds British enough, and most of you are foreign, so.." "Unn, why does everyone think we talk like that?"
"Well, excuse me for playing into the stereotypes that your lot started!"
"Shouldn't it be 'Strangers in Middle-Earth'?? Or along those lines."
"Oh, come ON. You don't think I'm gonna write a book strictly about Middle-Earth, do you?! We're gonna get out've here, eventually. Middle-Earth isn't the only place I plan to visit. No, bro's, I plan on expanding this storyline. This is just an event. Our first world! This book is gonna last a very, very long time."
"Well, don't make me sound stupid." "You said that already. And it's rather impossible, you guys are always cool and lively." I shrugged. "But yeah..I like it. Adventuring with Villainous Chaps! We're adventuring..and you are villainous..and you're also chaps! Perfect! AHH, I can't wait to get started!!"

I was getting a little too giddy. I mean, after all, there was no telling how long it would take to find the T.A.R.D.I.S.. And it's not as if they had the most proper writing tools in such a timeline. At least the types I needed. I held my head down a second..mmm..
"Um..can I ask you guys a question?" They were silent, so I turned.
"Would it be..okaayyyyyyy...if we..weee.....picked up a few more villains on the way??"
"WHAT?!" "Aw, c'mon!" "More?! We can hardly manage with the lot we have and there's FOUR of us!"
"Five, actually." (Bahaha, Bane.)
"Oh, come now! There are lots of villains out there who would LOVE to go traveling. I know a few who would be killer to have around. Plus their skills would be really useful! I just think, the more the merrier! I'd like to have a few more friends to go in this group!"
Master rose his eyebrow as he faced me. "More? Friends? As I recall, according to you, we're not friends, nor acquaintances.. just business partners." I shrugged my shoulders and bowed my head to the ground.
"I was mad at you at the time, of course we weren't friends..right then."
"What makes you think we're friends now??"
"Cuz we're not trying to kill eachother. And I enjoy you guys' company." He smirked and shook his head.
"We're not friends.." "Oh c'mon, you can only be either friends or enemies, you can't be both!"
"--Frenemies.." "D'oh...but I don't THINK of you guys as my enemies." I sulked.
Joker stepped in, "And our little spot before?"
"..Lots of friends have fights.." "Think what you want." "I will, thank you."
Spun back around and continued shopping.
"Okay..forgive me if this sounds like a totally lame teen question..but I've just gotta ask--"
"What now?" I chuckled as I skipped along. "--If you guys were my age, would any of you consider going out with me?" I'm serious, I really was curious.
"I'd go with you now." "Jim, indulge me."
He made a face. "..Yes."
I looked over at the Master and rose my eyebrows in anticipation.. then he did a rather judging sniff as he squeezed past me. "..Well, you're not terrible looking..for a human."
I pinched his neck as he moved away. RUDE.

I didn't expect such a foolish, childish topic to be acknowledged by the mighty, noble presence of Bane, who- "Without a doubt." - Well, okay then.
I didn't even give J a chance. "You're not allowed to date, Joker; you're reserved for Harley and Harley alone." "Who..??" "Ohhhhh, no, that does it. I'm gonna have to find a good proper DK version for you, that's all there is to it now." I shrugged, uncomfortably. "..Besides, I dunno if you'd even go with a brunette. Maybe, maybe not.....I don't know."
Jim abruptly put an arm around me, making me wince. "You do have a dark side to you."
"And obviously, you're one for the bad boys."
I crinkled my eyebrows at this, "...yeah...it's my weakness....sadly."
"No..." Joker then shoved Jim's arm away and wrapped his own around me, having a much wider spread.
....I was uncomfortable.
"You're attracted to danger, and violence..and rage. The bad gives you a thrill, huh?"
I couldn't help but nod, even though I was trying not to have a clue about what he was talking about.
"You wouldn't be too bad of company for me, back in the day.."
"Hey now, let's not get carried away." "...you are beautiful." "Yeah, I'm pretty sure you say that to all the girls you slice and dice--or are about to, at least." I shook free of his hold and eyed him, suspiciously.
He looked a little disappointed. Why, I don't know.
Whatever reason...I still did NOT trust him. Not after before..I was leery..

I sighed and looked around some more.
I was bored. The boys had suddenly fell silent and I felt all alone again, even though they were three feet away from me..... Bah, whatever. I pulled out my adorable little iPod-- Kai, is his name-- and put the spectacular little earbuds inside my ears.
If all else fails, jam to some tunes!
But--egads!
"LOW BATTERY?!"
My companions flinched.
My jaw dropped.
KSJKWJSHJWHJKHWDHJWHDJHWDKWDHWKJHDJWHJDHKJWH
"BAHHH!!!"
I ripped the earbuds from my head and stuffed the device inside my pocket.
SUCH FURY. That iPod is my life!
And what the hey hey, bro, I CHARGED it before I left home! >8/
Like a spoiled little brat who hasn't gotten their way, I crossed my arms and huffed.

But really, in no time at all, I got over it and before I actually realized it, I began to sing.
Well..hum loudly, at least-- the song being "Dream On".
IDK why, it just popped up in my head.
I picked up a few fruits and stuffed 'em in the basket. Suddenly, as I approached the main chorus,
"♫ Sing it with me! Sing for the years! ♫" escaped from my mouth.
I immediately clamped the perilous little brat of doom, and shot my eyes at the others.
My fears were confirmed; they were all staring at me.
Jim grinned way too wide, while the others just observed, curiously.
"Why, miss Demens...that's quite a singing voice."
Shuddup, Joker.
"No, it isn't." "Yes, it is."  I cleared my throat. "ANYWAY.."
"♫ SING for the laughter, SING for the teeeaarrrsss! ♫"
"No no no no no no no, we're not doing that."
"♫ Sing with me, just for today! ♫"
"Seriously, stop."
"♫ Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take ya away! ♫"
"What have I done?"
"--Come on, love. Indulge me."
 I developed a look of pure dread, as I realized he was slowly pulling me down to my doom.
ehhhhhhhhhhhhh
"Again--"
Almost at once, I jumped on with him as we repeated the main chorus.
Jim was doing pretty well--but pay no mind to their compliments.
My singing voice resembles the sound of, say, a dying cat.
Apparently, my companions were both blind & deaf.

"♫ Sing with me, just for today! ♫"
Master was so done with both of us.
"♫ Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you awaayyyy!! ♫"
I noticed Joker had jumped in mid-way.
Our little choir went on. "♫ Dream on! Dream on! Dream until your dreams come true! ♫"
We all three kept nudging Master to join in, but he kept backing away.
Joker did the musical sound effects. Our collided voices were so off-key, I did everything I could to keep from busting out laughing.
 "♫ Dream on! Dream on! Dream on! AHHH!! ♫"
yes, in case you didn't quite get that last part, we were screaming and thrashing our heads around.
If Master wasn't 100% done before, he was done now.
He immediately turned and scurried off.
I hurried after him, "Aw, Masta, don't be shy! You can join in on the fun at any time!"
"Absolutely not."
I giggled quite giddily and skipped around him; the others joined me.
"As I recall, you were very open to singing AND dancing, when you were tormenting your dear rival!"
Joker and Jim shot their attention to him, grinning quite evilly. "WERE you?!" "DANCING?"
He ignored them, "Things have changed now. And I'm not in a particular mood to sing with you lot."
"Oh come on, then...crack a smile!"
"Don't you dare.." "Dare what?" "Use my own lines against me!"
"Mwahahaha!"
"This girl! I love her more with every word she breathes!" "Shuddup, Moriarty."
"Please, please..it's MR. Moriarty."
"We don't have time for this idiocy." I jumped back in front of the escaping Timelord.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" He yelled, tightening his fists.
"Oh, I don't know, how about a little-" I snapped at the boys and miraculously, they read my mind like an open book, and were both on cue.
"♫ R.E.S.P.E.C.T., find out what it is to me! R.E.S.P.E.C.T., take that, TCB! ohhhhh, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to be! ♫" "I hope you all burn in hell."
But we were fully enjoying ourselves, so ease off, Captain London!
Moriarty and Joker danced around for a bit, even after I departed from the group.
Ok yeah, I must agree. Enough of this foolishness.
"That's enough silly for one day."
Jim acted like a slug and hurried after me. "I'm hungry....let's head to beeddddd."
"Patience, teddy bear!"
"I'm done with this, and with you. Find me at the fish market."
"Done." Take that, ya impatient brit!
I grabbed the last few bit of basics, tossed a few shillings at the shop owner, then zoomed past the edgy Time Lord. "Coming?"
---
It took a few minutes, bumps and shoves, pauses to recalculate the amount of miles in distance we made from the designated area, but eventually we returned to the fish stand. We were surprisingly still together and free. I was half expecting us to be arrested on the way, but nope.
There ahead of us was Bard, who apparently helped clean up the wreckage that that one weird girl from before caused, because everything looked nice and tidy once again and this pleased me.
He straightened himself up from his leaning position once he spotted us and I extended my basket arm out with a cheery smile, upon greeting him. "Hiya, Bard! Picked up all the basics, with money to spare! Must've gotten a discount cuz of my adorable self." I winked.
I was kidding....by the way...totally kidding.
Remember my self-given description of looking like Paper Jam Dipper? Yeah..
I dropped the extra shillings into his hand and his eyebrows rose with amusement.
"..Bless me..that's quite a bit.." "Ah? Ah? See, what'd I tell ya; discount!"

I, myself, was a bit tired of standing around. I was tired exhausted, hungry starving and secretly in a bad mood was about to turn into a velociraptor coming for it's prey.
So I was quite pleased when Bard chose to not linger there any longer and began on his way home.
"I thank you for your help." "Bah, it's the least we could do after YOU helped US."
"We would've gotten done sooner if you had've just taken them."
"-And saved all the shillings."
"Would you get off it?" "We're in a different WORLD." "It doesn't matter whether we're in a different world or not. Stealing is wrong. Period." "Ugh."
"Besides, I wouldn't take from these people, anyway. They're poor and oppressed. They get it bad enough as it is. I, for one, know a thing or two about being in need..."
"Do I feel a piece of backstory coming on?"
I bowed my head as we walked through the crowds. "...Let's just say, at one point of my life, I didn't exactly have everything. Which is why I am quite appreciative of what I have now."
"--and?" "That's all I'm gonna say." "What, are you embarrassed?"
"Not at all. In fact, I'm quite proud of my background. And all the things that have occurred to get me here. Because it's made me who I am. And whether I like myself or not, that's something to be proud of."
"Just tell us." "nope." "Why not?!"
"Cuz I'm not about to spill my guts to you guys when there's still some things I don't know about YOU. I need a little bit of mystery of my own, y'know!"
I was given the most disappointed looks I've ever seen on anyone.
"Heck fire-" I prodded the chests of the Master, Joker and Bane. "I don't even know you three's real names!" "Any name is fine." "Uh uh. I want birth names. Names chosen by parents."
"Well, Demens isn't exactly your real name." "But I'm at least still using my first name."
I could hear a soft whisper as Master cursed under his breath.
"--Unless you just want me to call you by your false names..Harold Saxon..Jack Napier....and..."
My tongue tied at Bane as I directed my hand his way. "....Gotham's Reckoning."
Joker chuckled.
"See, this is stupid! I'm traveling with you guys. The first thing I have the right to know is your real names!"
"What overrated hogwash." "I understand the non-knowledge of your real names adds the level of mystery and suspense to your characters and it drives people crazy knowing they don't know something so simple..but honestly, can't you at least let in your only little friend? ♥"
They were silent. Sigh..still stuck in the business partner zone.

"This just proves we are meant to be, my darlin'! You have my honesty..you have my name!"
I pointed at Jim, while glaring at the Master. "You're drifting me in this thing's direction..c'mon man..do you really wanna see little Sariarty spawnings? Hm? Is that really what you want?"
Jim leaped and gravitated way too close to me, nearly slithering like a snake. "Reeeaallllyyyy????"
"--Which would never happen in a million years, but I have the right to plant fear into other people's heads, getawayfromme!" I ran after Bard so fast, I almost tripped. Again.
"Please tell me we're close to your house!"
"Aye...very close..in fact, we're here."
I eyed the boat home we had stopped at. It was dark, wet and a bit danky. The air it gave was just as cold as the rest of the town. But at least it provided us with a bit of sanctuary.
"It's lovely." "Hardly..but thank you."
"....anddddd set the time forward to a milllllion years...."
"Jim, shuddup."
The four approached us from behind and examined the home. "Is that it?" The Master said, in disgust.
"It's ugly." Jim remarked.
"And smells like dead cats." Joker joked. I think.
"Cold." "Wet." "Makes me wanna puke."
"Wreaks of oil and tar.."
"I wouldn't be surprised if it sinks right now."
"The exterior and paint is just all wrong."
"I'm drowning all three of you."
I looked up at Bard. "Are we being watched? I feel like we're being watched. We're definitely being watched. Maybe we should sneak those three in through the toilet." Bard chuckled.
"Very subtle." "You're a natural, Demens."
Bard jerked his head for us to follow. "Come along. It's nearly dark."
We shuffled after him.
~  ~  ~
With a turn of the knob, we stepped through the doorway and into his home- which felt much more welcoming inside than it did out- and we were immediately greeted by Bard's three youngsters.
"Da, you're home!" The girls, Tilda and Sigrid, embraced their father...something I wished to be doing to my own pop at that moment..while Bain, his son, seemed a tad more interested in our party.
Bard lovingly smiled down at his daughters once they took a step back, "Bless you, darlings..."
He tapped their chins with his thumb. "Now, go start making supper. We have guests."
The girls both took actual notice of us, but gave us the most weirded out expressions we've yet been given.
"Now, loves.." He gently rushed.
They jumped and hurried to it, Tilda grabbing the basket of food and carrying it into the kitchen area, while Sigrid fetched some water and prepped all the dishes.

Bain, Sigrid and Tilda

"Who are they, da??" Bain questioned his father, looking a little untrusting.
Bard gave us a look of his own, then laid a hand on his son's shoulder. "They're guests. From out of town. They're tired and hungry and need a place to stay for the night. They'll be gone by morning."
But despite the good excuse, Bain still didn't seem too convinced.
His father took notice. "Go help your sisters. I have a few matters to tend to."
"But da, you just got back. Where are you g-" "I'll return by the time supper is ready. Now go, do as I say."
Bain deflated and sighed, taking one last look at me before frustratedly turning to go assist his siblings.
The Master eyed Bard as he snatched a few things. "Leaving already?"
"I'm a busy man. I'll only be gone for a short while." "Don't you have kids to look after?" Joker remarked.
"I have no choice. These things need to be taken care of.."
"I'll help look after things for you, Bard." He glared at me and I nodded, with a smile.
He faintly gave one of his own.
"I'm grateful.." He packed all the things he gathered into a small satchel, then started for the door.
"Thank you.."
"You just do the thing and hurry back."
He nodded and stepped out; I closed the door behind him.

I took a big, deep, refreshing breath before turning around and entering the kitchen to assist the girls in prepping for dinner. I wasn't about to be useless. "Here, lemme help you guys with that.."
They appeared shocked. "Of course not, you're the guest! We couldn't!"
"Nonsense, I've got hands that need to DO something and I feel utterly pointless just sitting in the corner, listening to my own stomach growl, while you two do all the work. Now give it here,"
I snatched a head of lettuce from Tilda's hand and scooted them back. "Thank you, Tilda."
I turned my head. "Bain, you can go sit down, this is girls' work."
He gave me a look of confusion, before I turned back around, now with a knife in my hand, to which he reacted in panic and ducked. I advanced toward him, "Scoot."
Finally, he obeyed and ran into the what I assume to be living room, and sat down across from the others, who themselves had taken it upon themselves to sit and relax, as well.

"How do you know our names?" Little Tilda questioned. I froze. "...err..."
But I was saved when Sigrid leaned in, "Da must've told her."
Tilda took this as truth and nodded, getting back to work. Whew..didn't have to lie.
I might have to honker down being brainy about character knowledge in the future.
And just do the average thing like a regular person, and ask them questions......how boring.
"What's your name?" I perked. "Sarah!" "That's pretty." Tilda smiled. I smiled back, "Thank you."
"And your friends?" "Ummm....James, Harold, Jack..and Bane."
I could talk freely, since we were out of earshot; I gestured at each.
"The one with the dorky purple suit is Jack...the guy who looks like a body builder with a Darth Vader mask is Bane...blondy is Harold...and the annoying one is James."
"You don't sound too fond of them..." "Let's put it this way; I've met garbage less complicated than them."
They giggled, which was unexpected. "You look young..are you our age?"
"Just about. I just turned 19...today, actually."
They stopped and looked at me. "That means it's your birthday!" Tilda exclaimed, with a beam.
I smirked. "Yeah..guess it still is.."

Sigrid went back to work, "That's wonderful...birthdays are always lovely."
"Da always does something special with us for our birthdays! ♥"
I smirked. "I bet he does. Your da seems to be a good father."
They both smiled, brightly. "He is."
I chuckled a little. "I miss my dad.....and my mom."
Tilda frowned. "....what...what happened to them?" "I'm not an orphan, if that's what you're asking. I'm just..a long way from home..that's all." "Well, why don't you go back?"
I stopped and eyed them. "I will......."
There was an awkward silence. After a moment of looking at me, they went back to work.
I waited a little until I did the same myself. ".....soon."

~

About half an hour passed and supper was ready.
I put the boys to work, setting up the table, to avoid turning them into complete lazy bums.
I will say, though, it was pretty awkward watching Bane get out the mugs, while Joker, Jim and Master laid plates on the table, Jim eventually setting up the silverware. I was surprised by how meticulous he was.
I ran amongst the house hubbies and helped Sigrid lay out the food, where Tilda poured an unknown substance into the cups. Finally, we were done.
I couldn't help but stand back and admire our handiwork. For elder times, the meal didn't look too bad!
I, for one, think we did good. We all three let out sighs of tiredness and relief. Sigrid pat my shoulder, gracefully. "Thank you, Sarah. You're a dear for helping us! ♥"
"Nah, it's no problem." ^_^
She turned her attention to her brother. "Bain, maybe you should go fetch da."
"No need, he's coming." Bane announced from the window.
Seconds later, Bard stepped through the door. He looked tired and deflated.
He spotted the food, "Supper's ready so soon?"
"Sarah helped us, da!" Tilda cheered. Bard gave me a surprised smile. "Right?"
"Well, I guess..earning my keep?" He chuckled and took off his coat.
"I suppose so." I mean, that was a general chuckle, guys.
I think we were breaking barriers!
He nodded his head at me, and the others. "Please, everyone, sit.."
Confusion. Where would THEY sit? "But--" "We have another table here that they can use.."
Then he and Bain pulled out an old table that was sitting in a corner and cleared it of it's decorations.
Then they began to set it up with dishes and food. I felt terrible for imposing, but whatever floated their----I'm not gonna finish that sentence, nope.

At last, we could sit. Sigrid and Tilda, as well as Bain, all went into the kitchen to grab this or that as the boys and I all pulled out our own chairs and seated. Oh, how comfortable that felt. Sitting.
But you know..this was the first REAL meal I had had at a table, without my family.
And it felt...odd. I didn't necessarily care for it at all.
Call me a mommy and daddy's girl, but there was hardly ever a day that went by that I wasn't with them.
We stuck together like glue. I missed them. I missed them a lot.
But there really wasn't anything I could do..

Poor Bane..he sat in silence, just watching everyone. How'd the man even get by without eating?? Made me sad to watch him, watch us. I sighed and held my face.
"Ugghh, no Pepsi...I'm having withdrawals..."
"No worries. We'll get you five as soon as we're away from this hole."
"Jim, manners." He wiggled his eyebrows a bit as he started to cut into his food.
I noticed the others start, as well, and was just about to do the same when---
oh yeah. "Freeze." They paused mid-fork-hold, their silverware hovering in front of their mouths.
And yes, I went to hold hands-- Jim sat away from me, thank God, so it was Bane's hand that I took from the left, and the Master's that I took from the right. Well, of course, the Master didn't want to, so I smacked it a few times until he gave in.
"But I'm not even-" "Shut up, we're praying, shush. I'm not endangering my spiritual walk for you four."
They were silent and shifted a lot, as I bowed my head. Joker seemed the most confused, and kept squinting at me. But never mind the clown.

"Thank you, father, for this food...thank you for making us strong, healthy and...alive..thank you for protecting us--preferably me- and blessing us...thank you for all my new...colorful friends. And please forgive me for my sins...and..my friends...who..have too many sins to count..and please continue to watch over us..and keep us together..annnddd help us find our ship, Lord...so we can leave as soon as possible...in Jesus' name, I pray...amen."
I opened my eyes and began to cut into my food.
The boys slowly went back to doing the same. "Oh joy, cold food..." Master whined, dryly.
"Shush." I took a drink of the unknown substance...which was actually, surprisingly, pretty good.
The three youngsters all turned to me as I went to eat-- I noticed not only them, but Bard, as well, had been listening. "You're..religious?" "Naturally."
Bain crossed his arms. "Never expected it from a person like you."
I eyed him, critically, but said nothing. I turned my head back around and concentrated on eating.
"I think everyone is religious in their own right, about something...it can be God..the Devil..a person..love..a thing.." I glared at Master. "..Warfare.." then at Joker. "Anarchy." I did a sarcastic smile.
"Whatever you devote so much of your time to..that's your religion. We've all gotta worship something. So really, a person who isn't religious is, in fact, religious...just by being nonreligious."
....Well, it made sense in my mind.

"Wise words." Bard remarked, after doing a lot of chewing. "You've learned much from your parents, I take it.." "Tons." I did some eating of my own. "But a lot I've learned for myself."
...Well dang, that food was pretty darn good!
yeah, onto other matters.
"Yeah, so..you boys, as far as I know, all had someone special to you in your...ahem..homes."
I nodded at each. "Bane, Talia. Master, Lucy. Joker, Harley...no matter what you say... Jim...well.."
"He has you." Master joked under his breath, before taking a drink.
"Please don't get him started."
"--Don't have the pleasure. No one to have fun with...I always have Sherlock, I suppose..to keep things interesting...that's all it really comes down to..not being bored."
I shrugged. "--Well, as you already know..I don't have anybody...yet...but I'll find him..eventually...some time..one day..in this generation...while I still breathe oxygen.."
Dem bread rolls were pretty good. O.O
"--Speaking of which, are we even still breathing oxygen?? I mean, technically..we ARE in a different world now." I tried to keep my voice down, easier now that the kids returned to their food.
Master shrugged, "I suppose..never traveled in a fictional world like this before..."
"Now these are the real questions." Joker input.
Hmmm. "I'm tired." "Finish eating." "But I have questions." "Ask them later." "But-" "Eat."
"You should get your rest, Lady Sarah. We start off early tomorrow. You'll need your sleep."
BUT BUT BUT.
But I'm a night owl!
I sighed, "Very well.."

Suddenly....
vrrroooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
whhhhaaaatttttt thheeeeee heeeccckkkkkkkkk??????????????

The entirety of everything began to violently shake-- all the things sitting on tables and shelves were thrown to the floor, many of the dishes shattering.
With widened eyes, I held onto the table as the boys and I all looked frantically around us.
The girls screamed and hurried to their father, Bain leaning back against the wall in a panic.
"Earthquake, da!!"
"Nah, bro, I've lived through an earthquake!" I shot up and ran to the window, witnessing mass chaos in the townspeople outside. "That ain't no earthquake!"

The rumbling lasted for several minutes- I tried to get a good enough picture of what was going on through the window, but it proved to be too complicated. So I opened the door.
"What the *beep* are you doing?!" Screamed the Master.
"Stay down!!" I yelled at all of them.
I poked my body out, holding onto the edges of the doorway; for some reason, I chose to look up.
And at the right time.
For what passed above me in that second..above the town, above the people, above everything..
made my eyes explode and my heart race.
No...it couldn't be...
"Smaug."

- to be continued -